Christ and I

Christ and I have been sort on the out. I'd like to write a prayer to Him. Lord I listen to your preachers and Your people they're wonderful people...and some of the things I hear I know are wrong...and some of things I hear I don't know about. I don't know how you work...and I know t...that all I am is evil. It becomes increasingly apparent that I need something outside of myself to help me...I am confused in every way about this. I don't know what could....Dawkins' God delusion makes some good points...institutionalized religion...uses techniques of group think...where everyone sorta' knows...but no one knows...but we're all confident on one thing...without really knowing anything. ...but who really knows anything at all?

I want to do good..but I confess that I feel like a stick in the mud...
perhaps I don't get filled with goodness from other people or from God...although I feel blessed....perhaps not known...or cared for...but blessed...I don't have a go to guy or gal....but I could go to some guys or gals...

vapid.

MY LIFE!

I'm becoming more self-indulgent...although I pray for people...I don't have that same...I don't know...fervor....I used to have...

YET

God spoke to me...I'm sure of it, and I'm almost completely sure it was because of my position as a lifegroup leader...

If not for that reason I don't know why.

God please melt my heart...help me to understand You in a greater sense...and help me to articulate myself...and help me most of all to love...and have a sense of justice....

Give strength to my friends...help them...
help those who don't know you...and
help us not to forget you or your ways.