Mark it!

So that I come back to it :)

Just so yah know.... my biggest fault in my walk with God is taking too much...

my heart yearns...
and then is apathetic...

I guess you could call it trying to play God...

I reprove most every single one of my actions to align with the Bible...which....there's nothing wrong with wanting to align yourself...

but i so often forget that I
Can't do that...
constant surrender to God can...

and it's funny cause then...my head says...to my heart..."are you surrendering?"

almost like a sarcastic serious joke...

my heart says "no....oh crap i should be surrendering to God!"
(and Loving him etc. just insert...religiosity)
then my mind forgets it was a joke in the first place and starts to believe because my heart is so disturbed....

because that's a thing I gotta' do...If I'm not surrendering it's me whose living my life...and I suck at that...right...so


I


decide that for that few moments it's a good time to surrender...and I say phew.... glad I got that squared....away now what do I have to do....

it's not that I'm beating myself over the head...it's just very paradoxical...or maybe...not so much that...but hypocritical..... :)


NO ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!

yup :)

everything especially that....

just think about it...if I weren't a hypocrite...what would I need God for....wouldn't I be purely the things I aspire to... :/ ?

This is probably the most common American sin...not necessarily hypocrisy....but independence...

I've got this God...and I surrender to him when I remember or when I need help :/

isn't that what should make me as a Christian different...that fact that though...I'm broken...and go through hard times like all the unsaved... (pre-Christians as I've heard some refer to them:) I have Jesus in my spirit...that influences my soul that influences my body...that drives out sin...

because I can't have two masters..and I'm already in Christ...

read some of romans....ch5-7 wonderful :)maybe a little longer than that...I'm not exactly sure..but the Bible is Good

what I'm gettin' at is...

...trying...

doesn't produce anything in the Christian walk...because you are...already in Christ...the more you put your hands off of trying to be like God the more you are :)

at least that's how it works for Christians...

well you should read...Romans...it says it much better....and clears it up much better.... :)

I'm just sorta' para-rambling :)