Today

It's my birthday...and I'm about to go to bed and wake up expecting it to still be my birthday, but also that it's not gonna' mean a whole lot.

Wrestling with the temptation of glory. There is so much in my heart that yearns to work and be good at something. To be known. to be famous. To have independence and free reign...

Yet I know there's nothing in that. I have people come up to me to compliment me on Guitar skills, artistic skills and all the kinds of skills that girls like....girls only like guys with skills. But.

The talent comes from God. The drive comes from God...success in its own complete form is God. a state of being...is all success is... if you are successful...you...are...

Yet I try so much to be
When I already am

and this birthday should be the biggest reminder to me of it.
It's one of the few celebrations that celebrates God's creation. You may not see it that way, but why are we celebrating? It's not because you're a great person...or because you did something great...it's because you are...it's a very Christian concept.

God Loves us because we are...yet I disregard that Love so many times, and go looking for satisfaction in other places...whether in friends, art...or music...or both...It boils down to the fact that God made us to be fulfilled by him.

Receiving praise is ok...but I've never gotten compliments that have made me feel better than when I am showing Love to someone else...or helping someone else...

Just as a birthday is a celebration of someone's being...so it is a reminder of our equality...

It's not just a frivolous thing...where we get to focus on ourselves...it's a reminder of all of our beings...

While my being started c. 19 years ago...This day isn't about me. It's about God's Love more than anything. That before I was in my mother's womb...he had a plan for me...and a future...

When I have a birthday I can't help, but look at all these people...they all have birthdays...they all are beings...and God Loves them just as much...some of them know it...some of them don't...and some just don't believe that...

Yet I look at them...and I see worth.